Details about what is the latest superfood, diet plan, or exercise crazes are important and worth investing time and energy, but our real battle lies in how do we get ourselves to the gym when the TV and a bag of chips beckons? Or how about resisting the temptation of that birthday cake that someone brought in to work today? What wellness research can we do to help us out in those moments?
There are many tips out there, but the ones that will work in the long haul are the ones that involve accessing a place of self compassion, kindness and love for ourselves.
Wellbeing cultivates more self love, and self love cultivates more wellbeing. When we love ourselves, wellness happens effortlessly. It is hardly any work at all to nourish ourselves when we view ourselves as as wonderful and valuable. Wellness can also becomes a practice in self love. To create more love for ourselves we can treat ourselves to actions that create more wellbeing.
What do we do if we aren’t making good choices in the wellbeing department? When we are making choices that do not fit in with staying well, it is usually a result of us not having access to that sense of self love.
What then? We can learn how to access self love in those moments so that we can choose to stay on track on the toughest of days.
Let’s start by first being aware of when we are not expressing self love. What does that look like in our lives? Are there certain behaviors and thoughts that are associated with the times we veer away from our wellness goals? Let’s simply be aware of such moments.
The second step is to not judge such moments. After we develop an awareness of these moments, we may start to notice that we have a tendency to judge ourselves over our vulnerabilities. When a judgment comes up we can identify that thought as a judgment and then in the same way that we allowed our original vulnerabilities to be, we can also allow our judgments to be.
When we are able to examine our thoughts in all our moments without judgment, we actually stop the cycle of repetition that causes us to behave in ways we’d rather not. Looking at our thoughts and labeling them for what they are, gives us the ability to question the validity of the statement as well as giving us the space to understand the thought. For example, “ I should really be able to do it all,” is an example of a “should statement”. We can then question it,“Is it true that I should be able to do it all? Isn’t that impossible? Nobody can really do it all.”
By questioning these thoughts we can develop a deeper understanding of their origin. Sometimes they come from a place where we used to operate from in childhood. Sometimes the thoughts sound very similar to someone else’s voice. Wherever they came from, we can take time to recognize that they are not working for us now, even though they may have worked for us in the past.
Once we have made space for greater understanding of why we get stuck where we do; we simultaneously feel compassion for ourselves. Building greater compassion and love for ourselves ultimately empowers us to make great decisions because we are making them from a place of love and understanding instead of desperation and old patterns.
So the next time you find yourself confronted with cake or couch potatoing, consider a compassion practice instead! It is so much better than having your cake and eating it!
Restartwell 